Lie to Me Jerry!
This is basically an extension of the last post.
My scale refuses to lie to me. Not even once to make me happy. In fact, it simply CAN’T lie to me.
I got on the scale. It registered 11.2% fat. I’m thinking, “Sweet! Since I’m still wearing boxers (extra weight), all I gotta do is take them off and I’m in the 10’s!” So I take the boxers off, get back on.
*beep *beep 11.0% fat
Sweet! I’ll try again, maybe it’ll read lower this time!
*beep *beep. This time it reads 11.2% fat.
“Why you little…”
Maybe it’s cuz I haven’t absorbed the water I just drank? I’ll wait 10 minutes. So 10 minutes later I get back on the scale.
*beep *beep 11.2% fat.
I know! I’ll take a leak and rid myself of the extra water (weight) that hasn’t been absorbed. So I take a moderately long leak and jump back on the scale.
*beep *beep 11.1% fat
Oh! So close… If I try again I’m sure I can get under 11%!
*beep *beep 11.2% fat.
“God *#$@-ing damnit!!! Lie to me man! Just once to make me feel better, lie to me!”
As much as I hate my scale. I’ve grown rather attached to it. On my trip to Hawaii, I actually put the scale into my suitcase and was 100% intent on taking it with me. Then I imagined the scale going through the x-ray machine at the airport and the TSA people rewinding the conveyor belt to get a better look at the contents. “Hmmm, that looks suspicious. Maybe we oughtta check it out”. But I can’t risk my suitcase not making it to Maui because I’ve got 2 tuxedos in there for my groomsmen? So I take the scale out.
What am I going to do for 4 days? I can’t check my fat%! I hope Dai brings his handheld so I can at least check? I’m going to text message him now.
Is there something wrong with me for wanting to bring my scale with me?
PS. I just did a #2 and stripped out of my clothes and reweighed myself. Still 11.2% Don’t believe the idiots out there that say this scale is unreliable or inaccurrate.
posted at 11:08pm